21 days remaining

I have been away from my husband a long time. This year we saw each other twice. Once in January and again in August. That’s it. It has been hard on me, hard on him, and even harder on our kiddo. But we are 3 weeks away from reuniting.

Why are you apart?

After unfortunate orders to Japan were received we all moved there as a happy family. We lived there for a year. It was beautiful, delicious, enlightening, and culturally rich. It was also expensive. Especially when a 2 income family is forced into 1 income. I am a nurse by trade and that just isn’t something available in that area. Sure the jobs come up, but it isn’t a local hire. You will be on the same website with all the people around the world. The odds are not in anyone’s favor. Working off base in my field might be a possibility if I spoke the local language but I do not. I learned enough to interact but that is about it. Alternatively there is occasionally availability in the embassy but that is rare.

Alternatively the available options outside of my field could include working at the base market, the base department stores, teaching English to locals, and opening a home based business. After factoring in the cost of childcare and transportation to facilitate maintaining the job, it wasn’t worth it to be away from my family.

What did you do?

The best solution we could come up with was to separate the family, I would return with the babe and resume work as a nurse. This would also benefit my need to maintain a certain amount of hours to keep my nursing license valid. And so I did. And I have been back for a year and a half. A YEAR AND A HALF. We have been a family via internet and ‘visits’. Awful.

The comfort was knowing that all of this sacrifice and struggle now would pay off later. This was benefiting the ‘dream’ and the ‘big picture’. It wasn’t actually comforting in case you were wondering. It’s been miserable. But being the ever optimist that I am (The glass is neither half full, nor half empty. There is room for ice. Add the ice yourself.) I tried to make the most out of my time away.

How did you do it?

HARD WORK! But mostly friends actually. Friends helped me so much with childcare. I had friends help me load yard debris several times. (Fun Fact: It NEVER stops growing, the work never ends) I also had family help. I have grandparents and cousins local who have helped a ton. And my Aunt has been amazing with dump runs. My saving grace however is my neighbor. More accurately my BFF. She has been amazing. She has restored the sanity in my brain. I am still crazy as all get out I’m sure but I am functioning again. She helped me get my derailed renovation back on track and now it is finally wrapping up.

Reaching a point in the project where I walk away is hard. I want to FINISH the project. There is a term among crafters called UFO (unfinished object). That is what this feels like. Not every project is a ‘right now’ project. Most are ‘someday’ and ‘later’ projects. So only completing the ‘right now’ to do list is less than satisfying. This whole home has been such a DIY journey which felt worth sharing so from here on forward we will. But for now this project goes on to the UFO shelf.

When did the plan change back?

Shortly after our August ‘visit’ we decided that this was to emotionally draining and wasn’t worth it. So we crunched the numbers and determined that we could be back on our feet by the end of the year and allow myself to return to unemployment. So we went online and determined ticket cost and found a reasonable ticket for mid January. Which brings me back to 21 days.

I am 3 weeks away from reunification. I am counting down. I didn’t even realize I had been counting until I was asked and immediately responded with the exact days remaining. It is hard not to. My husband is my other half. There are just no substitutions.

Where is the adventure leading?

From here in good ol’ Oregon USA I will fly to Japan. Flying into Haneda this time so that will be new. Our family is stationed in Yokosuka so that is the area I comfortably shop in but I have explored Tokyo a little and Yokohama as well. I am hoping to travel much further in the remaining time that I have in Japan and explore some more foods mostly. Japan has such a difference in foods regionally. I would like to seek them out and try them! After the 6ish (Military timelines) months we will be heading somewhere near Chicago. Not sure where yet. Must still be ‘need to know’ or something Once that information is received I will have the next piece for updating the timeline. But for now that’s what we’ve got. I am pretty good about thinking on the fly so luckily I roll with whatever I am given. But hopefully the amount of stuff I have to roll with starts to go down.

Less rolling, more living.

-Cait